Thoughts on The Oscars

I contemplated leaving this post completely blank, to symbolize that "I have no words for this junk," but decided I'd be much more satisfied with writing a few words.

• To start, I find it really annoying that the show is known as both "The Academy Awards" and "The Oscars." For a very long time, I truly got these names and "The Emmy's" all messed up....Just pick one!!
• I would like to point out that Amy (who I believe will represent most women), was certainly most excited for the pre-show, where various entertainment networks pay very annoying people to "interview" celebrities and critique their clothing decisions. (If there was a metric that tracked the intolerance of the opposite sex on things like sporting events or these events -- call it "torture per second" -- this hour takes the cake!!)
• The actual show is such a sham! It starts with decent entertainment of the host followed by giving one of the 4 major awards... It is then followed by 3 hours of complete filler (I'm sorry to any of those who are interested in art direction, make-up decision, foreign short-films, and lengthy old movie clip montages)
• Throughout these 3 hours, the network thinks that attracting A-list celebrities to do the presenting will satisfy the beyond boring content of the program. Let's just say that having these A-list celebrities read corny jokes from a teleprompter (and created by random freelance writers) does not do the trick...Either give the celebrities the freedom to come up with their own material or just have them say "The nominees for crappy category XYZ are"...
  
• Acceptance speeches are always fun.... (Um - NOT) I totally understand someone wanting to thank people personally - but this just does not make for entertaining television.
  
• Speaking of acceptance speeches ... I think it's hilarious that because the network wants to wait until the end to give the most prestigious awards (in hopes to improve it's ratings throughout the evening) it truly gives the winner(s) of the "Best Costumes" more time to speak than the winner of "Best Picture." By the time the final award is up - the show has already run 30 minutes over... Here's an idea ABC: Give every winner their own website or blog to thank anyone they want after the fact. Promote these URLs throughout the following week during your regular programming... With the time saved from all of the smaller awards -- give the big winners 5 minutes of air time to talk about whatever they want.

To finish off, let me say that I am confident I will be going through this hell once again next year. The truth is that Amy certainly doesn't force me to watch it. I suppose it's a sort of pop-culture knowledge thing, where knowing who won "supporting actor" in a given year or recognizing who forgot to thank their significant other in their acceptance speech is just some random, useless knowledge that doesn't hurt one's conversational skills...

So...Until next year (where I will probably push some sort of rooting interest like a pool)....