Is the Umbrella a Failed Invention?

I believe after, say, 25 years of operating an umbrella on my own – that I’ve mastered the concept. If this is in fact the case – well then I need to marginalize it’s value to society…

The belief that an umbrella will keep one dry when it rains is good in theory – but is wrong. An umbrella will merely assist you from getting completely soaked – but it will not keep you dry.

Maybe I’m mis-holding the instrument, but I never seem to truly avoid getting myself and my belongings wet. If I choose to keep my front shirt and face dry, well then my entire back and backpack (my version of a business briefcase) gets soaked. If I chose to try and protect this bag that often holds various consumer electronic devices, well then I will look like I peed in my pants and sweat through my shirt within about 14 seconds.

Who decided that the innovation for umbrellas needed to stop? I’ve seen the “wind-proof” umbrellas (that sell for over $75) and the enormous “golf umbrellas” (which should be illegal in Manhattan – just like turning on a red light is). But - this isn’t what I’m thinking of… I’m thinking of an umbrella which casts a pseudo force-field around you … kind of like a plastic telephone booth. You know – like the Halloween custom of a guy in a shower – just without all the shower stuff….

I’m sure that there are issues with this – like how you would compact it into a woman’s purse – but smart innovators should be able to figure this out…. Am I the only one who thinks we need something else (well before we're all wearing clothes that self dry themselves like in Back-to-the-Future 2)?