Two Year Anniversary of The Worst Day of My Life

Yesterday (12/22) was the two year anniversary of our family losing a baby girl at 38 weeks of pregnancy.  Each year the day of 12/22 is going to be a hard one, but hopefully they'll get less hard as the years move on.

Alexa is now 4+ and asks some tough questions when the topic comes up  We definitely want her to be able to continue to ask anything she wants - so we try our best not to avoid her very direct questions like "why couldn't she come home from the hospital?" or "did she have a name?" (both of which she asked yesterday).

On Sunday we spent "Family Day" together which was nice.  In the afternoon, we went to the pier near our apartment and released 2 pink balloons in the memory baby girl goffin.  I had tears in my eyes when we did it as did Amy, but it's the first time I've seen either of us get overly emotional about it in the last few months.

I don't expect people to remember the tough day (like a birthday), but it's been interesting to witness people's reaction on hearing that it's been two years... Most sensitive people make a simple comment like "I understand that this must be a tough time a year for you."  Several other people just assume that Amy and I have gotten over the loss because of Ben's arrival 11 months+ ago.

Yes - we have Ben for the last 11 months+ and he's amazing.  He definitely helps to blur out some of the pain and both Amy and I feel very lucky to have both of our amazing kids.   I have had a much easier time trying to move on (but not forget), yet Amy's come a really long way over this year.  Yes - it's tough when she see's a couple of sisters 2 years apart sometimes and has some tougher emotional days than others. ... but 12/22/11 is not a day either of us will ever forget. 

I'm hopeful that it remains the worst day of my life for a very long time.

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